Update

I just wanted to give a quick update on how things are going. No, I am no longer crazy. I am actually doing very well; surprisingly well. Spencer is in Honolulu until the 2nd, then he will fly to Kauai for flight training and be there for a few days and then he will fly to Maui for more training for 5 days flying with other people on that island. After that we are assuming he will head back to Kauai for the rest of his training until he is ready to be doing it on his own.

When he was in Phoenix he was working on training with 2 other employees of the company. They had talked about a test that you are given right away and their scores on it. One had a 60, one had 66 and they were talking about a lady who got a really high score of 71. Spencer was really nervous that he wouldn't do very well and hoped to get a 66. Well, of course he aced the test and got a 74!!!! Is he a smarty-pants or what? I think he feels a lot more relaxed and feels that he is more qualified than he thought and can do very well in his job. You have to get a certain score to become an independent (I have no idea what it means, but it comes with a pay raise) and when he asked what it is, they told him 70. We are so proud of him. It's hard being away from the family, but I know it is helping him to be more focused during this training portion.

Skype is the coolest thing ever. We use our web cams on our laptops and can talk to each other every day. Spencer can see the kids and they can see him. We are even having family prayers together through the internet. How amazing is technology these days? We really feel the Lord's hand in our lives, guiding us here to this job, but also giving us strength and comfort to be able to deal with not being together.

Our comings and goings...

Spencer has asked me a few times why I haven't posted anything in a while.

"What am I supposed to say? That I have been running around non-stop, working on the house on the days that I'm not doing hair for 10-12 hours straight?"

"Exactly."

So here I am to tell you things have been a little rough. I know it doesn't mean that this is not exactly what we need to be doing. I know that this harder phase will lead to a simpler, better phase for our family eventually. But when my baby girl is standing crying at me with her arms outstretched, needing to be held and I literally feel like I do NOT have the time, it breaks my heart. Actually, I think I am a little broken today, which is why I sit here on my bed, in just my g's and a t-shirt, ready to cry at the drop of a hat. I am so happy that my darling boy, Spencer, will be home tonight. I can't even say how much I have missed him. I love him, he keeps me centered, stable, he makes me laugh. There is nothing better than having him nearby. It will be so devastating when we have to pack all of his stuff up next week (all of it because he will be living in Hawaii without his darling family who adore him). I think I might just sit in my closet and cry everyday.

I have faith, I really truly do. Heavenly Father led us to this job, we were definitely NOT looking for it. I know there is a plan involved. I know that since that is where we are supposed to be, He will help us find a buyer for our home. I am just a little scared that His timeline and mine won't be very close to each other and I don't know how long I can manage to be sane with the kids and school and work and trying to keep our house from looking dirty with a 2 year old running around playing in the toilets non-stop and throwing food all around. I feel much better for getting this all out (and listening to Kris Allen singing 'To make you feel my love'. You just HAVE to love that song. So beautiful.)
If I don't return your calls quickly, or attend things I should, just know I am doing the very best that I can, and I will get around to it if and when I can.

(I do need to say that in the midst of all this madness, Spencer and I ran our first 1/2 marathon (13.1 miles). We were as slow as turtles since we hadn't been training enough, but we finished it running, together, on our 11th wedding anniversary and so glad we did it. It makes me think that maybe when I am in Hawaii and not working, I just might have some time to train for a Half-Iron man triathlon. We'll see.)

Change in Plans

This post will be hecka long, so it you don't want the nitty gritty details, just the basics, here goes:

WE ARE MOVING TO HAWAII!!!

Feel free to stop reading if you don't want to know the how, where or whys of how we got to this point. It's gonna be long.

I recently got back into contact with a friend of mine that I used to work with. She is living in Kauai and she loves it there. She was talking about the slower pace of life, which we so desperately crave, so Spencer and I joked about looking for a job, but obviously did nothing about it.

About a week or so later, my friend then told me about a guy in her ward who does flight nursing, like a nurse in a small plane to transport patients to other islands, that he loved his job and that they were always looking for new people. She asked if we would be interested to find out more and I said sure, there's no harm in looking.

About 3 hours later she said that there was an immediate opening. The guy in her ward had just been promoted and was looking to fill his previous position. We had Spencer send over his resume and he talked to the guy for a little while and it sounded really nice. This guy has worked on Spencer's exact unit that he is currently on with almost the exact amount of ICU time. We have been praying and fasting and both feel very good about this. It has taken several weeks, but Spencer was just offered the job and will be starting in the next week or two, while I will be here trying to sell our house.

What about CRNA school, which has been our goal all along, you ask? Well, the experience here should help if we still apply in the future. It just is such an amazing opportunity and if not now, when? We are both burned out. His schedule will be so much better for us as a family. We will live in the prettiest place on earth. We already have friends there. The pay will equal out the higher cost of living, plus some. I won't work. Doesn't this sound so much better for us? And, while we felt that everything was falling into place for Anesthetist School, the same can apply in this situation. If he didn't do the exact same things he did for that, we couldn't have ended up here at this time.

I don't know what else to put. It's so exciting, exhilarating, thrilling, frightening, heart-wrenching , horrifying thing to do, but I know President Monson made an inpact on me in his talk 'Finding Joy in the Journey'.

He says: "This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now." That's exactly what we will be doing by this move.

I can't explain how hard it will be to leave my clients. I am sure most of them have no clue the impact they have made in my life and how much I truly love them and think of them as family. And yet, I have been feeling an overpowering need to just have time for my family and my children. There is always so much to do without work. Spencer's schedule is terrible and even when he has a day off, it is almost always squished with other days so that it seems like he is never really here. He is sleeping after working or needs to sleep so that he can work that night. It's been so hard on our family. Here we have the opportunity, to grow, to change, to progress and yet come back to the things that are truly important; our family.